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Broken relationships are a complex subject but not as complex as many of us are led to believe. Brush away all the useless theory and cut back to the bare facts that make a relationship and all you will find is two human beings that at one time loved each other. OK, you have a lot in common to start with now all you need to do is find what happened to stop that love; or whether the love truly stopped or simply got lost in a maze of other issues.

One of the most common questions I am asked when presenting seminars or lectures on the subject of relationships can be paraphrased as follows: “Why does the magic stop - why can’t it just go along the way it started?”

The question is both sensible and relevant and once you understand the answer you will be fully equipped to put your relationship back on track:

As human beings our feelings are determined by our RAS (Reticular Activating System) which is a part of the brain that determines how we view people and events.

I’ll be brief with this explanation to avoid making this article too long. You meet with somebody and your RAS see’s her/him in a positive light and you are enchanted with this person. At a later date your RAS starts seeing this same person in a negative light and suddenly all of the positive things you saw in your partner become negative. What has changed? Usually it is just your RAS - your partner, or ex-partner, are still exactly the same person you met and fell in love with. All that has changed is the way you perceive that partner and this is how you fall out of love.

Have no doubt about it that some time in the future your RAS will change again and you’ll curse yourself for ever having seen that now all of those negatives have converted to perfectly acceptable positives. Suddenly you want to win your ex back regardless whether they are”

- An ex-lover.

- Ex-wife.

- Ex-husband.

- Ex girlfriend.

- Ex-boyfriend.

Everything is so much better now that your RAS is seeing this partner in a positive light you desperately regret separating and want to win back your ex relationship. But there is a caveat: If you grovel or plead to win back your ex lover you could well be placing yourself in a subservient position and good relationships are built on equality. The good news is that you can now get your hands on a book that will teach you how to win back your ex without ever grovelling or pleading. You simply have to understand a few simple to use rules.

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 15th, 2009 at 11:53 am and is filed under All about wellness. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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